Treasures in Darkness

My wife and our girls were nervously waiting for the sun to go down as we sat on a dive boat off the west coast of the island of Hawaii. We were all certified scuba divers, but they had never been on a night dive. Some years before, my son and I had done one with manta rays. We had watched with wonder as our underwater lights drew plankton together, and then, out of the darkness, large manta rays appeared and swooped up their food. It was an amazing underwater ballet. Tonight I didn’t know what to expect, but I knew this dive would be exciting.

I had arranged to have dive masters guide us tonight because they knew the local waters well and they increased our safety. My wife, Jeanie, agreed to do the dive, but only if she could hold the hand of the main dive master. Finally, the sun went down, and with some hesitation and excitement, we all entered the water. It was like descending into a different world. The ocean reef comes alive at night with creatures and scenes that you won’t see during the day. Your handheld light reveals the things hidden in the dark. There are treasures to be discovered in the darkness, but you have to look for them to find them. I have found that the same is true in everyday life. When the darkness of adversity and pain comes to us, the way we choose to look at it determines whether we find treasure or just trouble.

When the darkness of adversity and pain comes to us, the way we choose to look at it determines whether we find treasure or just trouble.

I’ve experienced times of the light shining on my life through many opportunities, successes, and blessings. I grew up in Mobile, Alabama–a medium-sized city near the coast of the Gulf of Mexico. My dad used to say that we lived in LA, but in our case it was Lower Alabama, not Los Angeles. My parents were musical, and when I was about 12 years old, I began to take drum lessons (I wanted to make some noise!). I went on to play in the high school band and in a touring band. Over the coming years, I recorded three albums as a drummer, but I never knew that music would play such a pivotal role in my life.

After high school, I went to university and earned a degree in finance. In the early years of my career, I worked as the business administrator of a church and as the president of a nonprofit publishing organization.

Then in 1987, I co-founded Integrity Music, a Christian music company headquartered in Mobile, Alabama. After significant growth, the company went public in 1994, and its shares were traded on the NASDAQ stock exchange. The company grew into a global company with offices in the United Kingdom, Australia, South Africa, and Singapore. Its products were distributed in over 160 countries, and we received many Platinum and Gold record certifications for the sales of our music albums. Later we expanded further when we acquired the INO Record label. We worked with artists such as MercyMe, Darlene Zschech, Don Moen, Israel Houghton, Hillsong Music, Paul Wilbur, Paul Baloche, and Kari Jobe.

As the company expanded beyond music into books and other media, it was renamed Integrity Media. In 2004 the company went private. Then in 2011, Integrity Music and the other divisions of Integrity Media were sold. I had the privilege of leading this company as its president and CEO for 24 years, including 10 years as a public company. I had an amazing team of people working alongside me during those years. My time with Integrity Media was just some of the light and favor that I have experienced in my life.

But I have also experienced dark and troubling times in my life. After the sale of the company in 2011, I began pursuing new opportunities until I got some bad news from the doctor. I had been having real problems with the nerves in my body, especially in my hands and feet. I would have searing pain shoot through my body and it would wake me up at night when it was really bad. In 2012 I went to see my neurosurgeon. He examined me, reviewed my MRI and then told me that I must have surgery on my neck soon because my spinal cord was under pressure in several places. He said that if I had the wrong kind of impact on my neck I could be paralyzed. This news hit me hard, and I knew I was about to start an unexpected journey. I like adventures, but I was not looking forward to this one.

My condition was so complicated that I was referred to one of the world’s leading neurosurgeons at John Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore, Maryland. He examined me and said that I needed surgery soon. He ended up doing two major surgeries on my spine in my neck, and he had to operate on my spinal cord. Ouch! The surgeries were a success, but later I began to have new problems which the doctors could not explain. I had serious problems with my breathing, sometimes causing panic attacks. I had always been a confident person, and it upset me that I couldn’t remain calm. I couldn’t lean over because my blood pressure would fall, and it would take four to six hours of rest for it to recover to normal. My equilibrium, digestion, body temperature, and heart rate were also affected. Finally, a neurologist diagnosed the source of my problems as dysautonomia. He explained that the automatic part of my central nervous system was out of sync. That is the part of the nervous system that controls much of what our bodies do without us thinking about it. Because I could not consciously control any of the things happening in my body, I could not fix them and neither could the doctors.

I went from being an active person who enjoyed scuba diving to someone who was confined in many ways and could no longer work. It was like I was taken out of the game of life and put on injured reserve. For the first time in my life, I was in a very long season in which I couldn’t fight my way out of my troubles, change my circumstances, or understand what was going on in my life. These physical problems and adversities lasted about five years. My sweet wife, Jeanie, cared for me during my trials. My family along with a few close friends also stood with me. But, my greatest challenges weren’t physical. I struggled deeply to find vision and hope for my future. I cried out to God to shine His light on my darkness and show me the way forward.

For the first time in my life, I was in a very long season in which I couldn’t fight my way out of my troubles, change my circumstances, or understand what was going on in my life.

Slowly, God did begin to show me Himself in new ways, and I began to discover treasures in darkness as God shined His light into my heart and mind. I found peace that surpasses all understanding because of a deeper trust in Him. I learned to give thanks in a new way and to count my blessings. Hope grew inside of me, and I began to understand that adversity, pain, and unexpected change may look like setbacks, but many times they are a setup for your comeback. In fact, adversity, pain, and unexpected change are the doorway to your promotion into greater meaning and purpose in your life.

I began to understand that adversity, pain, and unexpected change may look like setbacks, but many times they are a setup for your comeback.

One of my favorite quotes, from Vivian Greene, says “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass…It’s about learning to dance in the rain.” I have found that to be true. We all want our circumstances to change for the better, and we want to be in control, but that is not what real life is about. Charles Simpson, my dear friend, said that “Life is defined more by the unexpected than by the expected.” He is right. The way we view unexpected change will determine if we see it just as trouble or as an opportunity to find treasure. I have found that real life is finding joy and peace by trusting God, whether you’re experiencing trouble or victory.

Even though my difficult circumstances did not change, a new vision and clarity of purpose were born inside of me. I knew that one of the keys to finding your purpose is to serve others. My passion and mission to help people discover and fulfill their God-given purpose became even more clear. I knew I had a new assignment for this mission, and I was exploring ways that I could pursue it given my circumstances. Then something amazing happened. God healed me in 2016 when some men were moved with compassion and prayed for me at a Christian conference. My autonomic nervous system problems were gone. Suddenly, my world changed.

Today, I’m back in the game and off of injured reserve. I’m now providing coaching for leaders, consulting for organizations, and speaking for events through Mike Coleman & Company. We help leaders and organizations cut through complexity, move forward with clarity and lead with confidence. My adversity was a setup for my future because it birthed a new vision and clarity of purpose. The light is shining again.

Just like our night dive in Hawaii, I saw things during my dark season that I would not have otherwise seen in normal daylight. I found treasures in darkness, and now I’m sharing those treasures with other people to help them navigate through challenges and fulfill their God-given purpose.

I found treasures in darkness, and now I’m sharing those treasures with other people to help them navigate through challenges and fulfill their God-given purpose.

At the end of our night dive, I broke through the surface of the water, and all around me, the Pacific Ocean was as smooth as glass. I lay back and began to float. And then I saw the most amazing sight: the Milky Way blazing with millions of stars visible to the naked eye.

It was overwhelming to see it so clearly while floating in the ocean. You can’t see the Milky Way that clearly in most places because of the surrounding lights and atmosphere, but by being in an isolated place, in the darkness, I could see it in its stunning brilliance. When adversity hits, it is a chance to see things from a different perspective. Who knows, it may allow you to see treasure and not just trouble. Looking back, I realize that the ultimate dive master, God, had been holding my hand the entire time I was in darkness, and He showed me deep treasures that changed the way I view life and the world around me.